Tuesday, September 8, 2009

78: Getting to the Truth

I laid on my back, staring up at the blank, dark ceiling above me. Sidney was stretched beside me, his right arm across my stomach. He was fast asleep, but I was wide awake.

He'd given me his all tonight and had exhausted himself in pleasuring me. I should have been tired, too, but I was too sick with worry. My stomach was in knots over the confusion and doubt and the thousand other emotions that flitted through my mind so quickly that I couldn't determine what they were.

Sid wanted to show me that he was the best thing to ever happen to me, but he didn't need to show me that. I knew it; it was obvious from the moment he made his feelings for me known. Hell, before then even. I loved him with every fiber, every molecule of my being, even though sometimes he pissed me off and made me miserable. It made no sense to me, but I was quickly learning that love, true love, had no basis in reason.

This was going to eat away at me until I resolved the issue, or at least attempted to. Gingerly and slowly, I slid out from underneath Sid's arm and slipped into his dress shirt, which was draped over the edge of the bed, before padding down the hallway, down the stairs, and into the living room. My phone was right where Sid threw it, snugly sitting between two cushions of the couch.

I needed to know. The implications were innumerable. Sid and Evgeni were friends, yes; more importantly, they were teammates. I needed to know because I couldn't possibly convince Sidney if I wasn't sure of the truth myself. And I couldn't keep lying to him, saying that there was nothing if there was indeed something. Every time I lied or skirted around the issue, I hated myself. I owed it to everyone to get to the bottom of this, to get to the truth, and figure out a solution, if need be.

I picked up the phone from its spot on the couch and sighed. Even though I was afraid of his potential answer, I knew what I had to do. Thumbing through the menu, I then typed a new message to Geno. Meet me tomorrow to talk?

Within a few seconds, I got a reply. It was two in the morning; Evgeni must have been awake, just like me. My house. Noon.

I didn't know how I was going to get away from Sid, but I knew that I had to. I'd figure something out after I got some sleep. I let the Russian know that I'd see him there, and then I deleted my sent and received messages—just in case Sidney got paranoid again and checked the messages on my phone. Afterward, I put the phone back where I found it and went back upstairs, to crawl back into Sid's arms and catch some z's.

* * * * *

Sidney and I woke up at about the same time in the morning. Usually, he was up and about way before me, so this was a pleasant surprise. He shifted and I sidled up against him, planting a kiss on his shoulder. "Mornin', stud," I bade him with a smile.

"Stud?" he laughed at me.

"Oh yeah. Top notch performance last night."

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me fully against him, nuzzling my neck. "Good thing we have an off day today. I'm still tuckered out. But it was so worth it."

I didn't say anything. Maybe Sid had an off day, but mine was packed full of activity, none of which I was looking forward to. When he felt me tense instead of react the way he wanted me to, he said, "Oh shit, Nelly. I forgot. I'm sorry, the first viewing is today." I nodded, and he squeezed me again. "I'm such an ass. What time do we leave?"

"It's okay, things were crazy yesterday. Starts at six, so we should leave by four thirty," I told him. I looked at the clock. Eleven. "I'm gonna go ahead and shower. I was thinking, Spiced Island Tea House for lunch? I don't feel like going out, but I'll order and go pick it up. How does that sound?"

He shrugged, which was awkward as he was lying down. "Whatever you want. Put it on the card," he said.

"Okay. Go back to bed, stud. I'll get you up when I return with lunch. What do you want, by the way?"

"Whatever you had the last time. That was good."

I left the warm comfort of the bed and jumped in the shower. I moved quickly; I didn't know what I was going to say when I saw Geno, but I didn't want to think about. After dressing and drying my hair, I was out the door, leaving Sidney unsuspecting in bed.

I called in the order and headed straight for Evgeni's. His house was huge; I couldn't miss it. With a deep breath, I got out of my car and walked to the door. I both knocked and rang the bell. And waited. After a few minutes, he appeared at the door in blue basketball shorts and a gray tank top, hair wet and fresh out of the shower.

"You early," he tells me.

"Sorry, but that's when I could get away." I stood outside his door, waiting for him to invite me in. And he stood there looking at me, unsure of what to do. Finally, he waved me in and I stepped into his house. "So, I'm here to talk."

"Want something drink?"

"No, I'm fine—"

"Watch TV?" he asked, closing the door behind me and taking his long strides into the living room. He plopped on the couch and picked up the remote.

"No. Geno," I sighed. This was obviously uncomfortable for us both, but we had to get it over and done with. "You said we needed to talk, so please don't put this off."

"Fine. We talk."

As he turned to face me, my phone rang, blasting Salt-N-Pepa. It's almost like Sid was psychic, knowing what I was doing. "Hello?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Shit. How did he know? I began to panic. He had every right to be mad at me for being at Evgeni's and not telling him. Yes, he was being incredibly jealous and controlling, but I couldn't help but think I'd be the same way if I were in his shoes. Just the thought of Lynne and her skanky lips.... "Sidney, I—"

"I have to hear from Mario about the job he offered you? Why didn't you tell me?"

I let out a deep sigh of relief. Major crisis averted. "I'm sorry, Sid—"

"How could you not tell me?"

"If you'd stop interrupting me—"

"I can't help it! I'm so mad at you! You can't just keep something like this from me!" He was really yelling. I felt tears sting my eyes.

"I know, Sid, I said I'm sorry—"

"Saying 'sorry' isn't gonna cut it. Why wouldn't you tell me?"

"Will you stop yelling? Can we talk about it when I get back? You need time to cool off, anyway."

"I'm not going to cool off. Nelly, I'm so mad at you right now. We'll talk when you get back. So hurry."

He hung up on me. I was so confused; I didn't know why he was so mad at me. Well, I didn't think he'd be happy with me for "forgetting" to tell him about the position, but I didn't expect him to be that mad. But what was the sense in mentioning it to him until I had figured out whether or not I could even take it?

"Sid not happy with you?"

I looked down at the screen of my phone, which was flashing call ended. "No, he's not happy with me."

"What you do?"

That made me laugh. The side of his mouth rose, and he gave me that contagious half-smile. Geno always knew how to make me laugh. "Well, that's kind of why I'm here. Mario offered me a great job opportunity with the Penguins organization. I'd be doing the same kind of thing that I'm doing with you, working with the players whose first language isn't English, and helping with media relations. I really want this job, Geno. More than you could know. But I can't take it if I'm going to be sick to my stomach on the days I have to work with you. I'm not going to take this job if there are going to be days when I dread going into the office. So I we need to talk about what happened yesterday."

He nodded. "I tell you I break up Oksana. And you say silly."


"And I say, not silly."

"Why isn't it silly?" I asked, afraid to hear his reply but needing to know. I felt like I had eaten a quarry full of rocks.

"Because. I be lucky if I have you. Sid? He have no idea how lucky he is. I tell you."

I shook my head. "I'm still confused."

"Why confused? Noelle, you say 'follow your heart.' I try. Oksana, she not a marrying girl. She fun, that all. Want girl like you. I know can't have you. But...."

I hated to hear him hesitate and coaxed him to continue. "But what?"

"You perfect hockey girl. You not get mad at Sid like Oksana get at me. You there for Sid like Oksana not for me. At games, cheering. I want that."

The rocks were gone, and my confusion cleared like a fog burning off under the morning sun. Clarity set in. I felt a little relieved. "You don't want me, Evgeni. You just don't want Oksana." He looked at me, confused, like he didn't see the difference. "You want a girlfriend who can go to your games and wear your number, and yell until she's hoarse. You want a girlfriend who supports you in your career and won't prevent you from growing as a player and a person. And that's not me. She's out there, somewhere. Don't worry, G. You'll find her."

"Yeah. I know. Still young. Have time." He rolled his eyes. "I hear all time. My mom say all time." Evgeni straightened up, and he wore a painful expression. "I not want like you, Noelle."

"You don't. You like the idea of someone like me, Geno. Not me," I assured him with a smile. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Dunno. I'm confused."

I smiled at him again. Just like he was there for me when Grandpa died, I was going to help him through this. "It's okay to be confused. You just broke up with your girlfriend. It's a hard thing to go through, no matter what the circumstances are. You just need some time."

With a nod, he asked, "So, you take job then? What happen to me?"

"Well, I guess I can tell Mario I'll take the position. Do you think you can handle working with me?" He nodded again. "Good. Well, that means I'll still be helping you, and you don't have to pay me."

"Best both worlds. That's what they say?"

I nodded with a chuckle. "The best of both worlds," I corrected him. "Okay, so I guess we talked, and I got my answer. You know you can call me if you need to talk. Now I have to go pick up lunch. And talk to Sid." Shit, I thought. This was not going to be fun.

He laughed and walked me out, but he still kind of hung back, tentative. "I hope Sid not mad. Maybe I not call you. He not look happy yesterday."

"He wasn't. And he really sounded angry on the phone. I hate when he's mad at me. I feel like I let him down."

"No. He love you. No worrying."

I thanked him and headed into Oakland to pick up lunch, and I paid with Sid's card like he told me to. When I left the restaurant, I worried that Sidney was stewing at home, waiting for me to return and ream me out for keeping Mario's offer from him. I'd apologize and tell him that he was right, that I shouldn't have kept this from him. But what was I going to tell him about why I didn't tell him? Because I certainly couldn't do an about-face and tell him that I was worried Geno liked me after I told him that there was nothing between us. The drive from Oakland wasn't long, but it was way too short to think of something.


  1. Great update! SO glad that she cleared that up about Geno. Can't wait to find out why Sid was angry about the job offer.

  2. I'm pretty sure she was far too distracted to even remember the job offer!! There's too much going on in her life to remember it all, especially if she's trying not to feel all of her feelings!

    Good good good! Love the Geno wants a fun & supportive girl! All guys should!

  3. I love this story. I'm kind of having some personal issues in my life right now and I always look forward to reading your new update every night. I pretty much count down the hours until your next post lol

    I can't believe he's mad at her for not telling him about the job offer! She has so much going on in her life...

    Great update! :) Thanks for making my nights a little better!

  4. Umm, yeah I'm with Meli, especially when he's giving his "top notch performance", the last thing on your mind is a job offer with a beautiful man like that on top of you, or below you, haha.

    I hope Sid calms down before she gets home. I don't think I can handle another blow up. ='(

  5. Oh Jay...

    Once again you've put a big smile on my face! I love this story so much; and it just keeps getting better and better with every update.

    I'm very happy with the way things worked out with Geno; hopefully Sid will be able to relax in that department. I also feel bad for Geno... I hope he finds what he's looking for (I also hope she's not taken already... he seems to have issues with that lol).
    And as far as the job goes... for some reason, I'm not that worried. I'm obviously hoping that they don't have another blow-out but... I mean, if she's taking the job he can't be THAT bad... right? >.>

    Also... since I missed the last post and just read it... might I add 'holy mother of god batman' ... what a sex scene!! haha

  6. You can totally introduce me as Noelle's friend, I'll help Geno through things* :D

    Great update. I gotta admit, I loved the Sid call, and the "I'm so mad at you." Mainly because the way it was in my head wasn't how it was meant. But I had him acting like a petulant 5 year old and it was too cute not to laugh*

    I hope that things get sorted out though and that everything can get cleared up. I think they need some down time, no drama and all that*

  7. I am SO glad that Nelly cleared things up with Geno! Now, I really hope he can find a girl who will support him just like Nelly does for Sid (:

    Jeeze, I really hope Sid doesnt go off about the job offer. Although I have a feeling that's not the only thing he's angry about?

    Waiting patiently for the next update! <3

  8. What else did Mario tell Sid? Yeegads! Now I'm worried! Be nice Sid!

  9. Have to agree with all the other comments, as usual...loved this update, and I too am so happy she got things figured out with Geno, cause I was worried!